Stay At Home Mom Depression_No One Understands Me

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  1. It is not a chemical imbalance to feel these things. It is normal. Motherhood has been spoiled by society. There are so many other cooler, better things to do than sit around wiping butts now, compared to our ancestors who only had their gardens and livestock, there were no restaurants or movies to watch or bars to hop. I learned this is my issue. Society has given us so many cool things to play with that we feel unfulfilled and left out not being able to participate.

    1. While every situation is different it’s definitely something a lot of moms experience.

  2. I can relate so much. I have been a stay at home mom gor about a year now. 2020 and 2021 have been nothing short of a rollercoaster. I have a 7 month old who is extremely clingy and fussy and a 5 year old daughter who is a god sent. She is so helpful but some days she really get her attitude going. But my depression has really kicked into high gear the past year. I dont get no help with my kids. My husband is always working long hours. He comes home and relaxes and eats dinner and does what he wants to do. I cant leave to go to the store when i want. I dont have anyone who is willing to help me with the kids. My inlaws coms up with redicilous reasons why they cant help with the kids when i need a break. I never get a break. My kids are with me 24/7. I get up with my son at night, im up with the kids all day, i do all the cooking, cleaning and laundry. Dont get me wrong, i love being a mom but i dont get a break! Between home schooling my daughter, my son being clingy, running a business and evey day life im so burnt out. I need medication but no one will watch my kids so i can go to the doctor. And with Covid, i cant take my kids with me. I feel lonely, lost, depressed and dont even get me started on my anxiety. I can be doing the dishes and start crying. My depression started in 2019 when my son Zachary was born sleeping. Then 10 months later we found out we were pregnant with our son conner. Between loosing Zachary and never getting me time, im going out of my mind. I just sit and cry anf get looked at like im a “cry baby”. I need help but no one will help me. I feel like im screaming and no one can hear me. Ugh i hate this feeling.

    1. Wow! You are juggling ALOT!! I know exactly how you feel tho because I’ve been there! It’s tough being a mom because I feel everything always falls on our shoulders. It would be nice if your hubby could help out more with the kids . . . Is that an option? You know like sitting down with him & really talking about it and what you two can do to change things? If not, is it an option to hire help to come into your home to watch the kids and/or cook & clean? I use to experience the same thing with my in laws. . . Excuse after excuse until I just stopped asking. It is sad but it is what it is with them. I would definitely suggest finding a way to take a break because you may find yourself exploding eventually. You HAVE TO get breaks!!! . . . It’s not an option not to!!! Reach out anytime . . . I’m here!

  3. I’ve never read a more relatable article. I didn’t even consider that this is a thing. I’m used to having depression and I know miming ain’t easy but I never connected the too or had a title for it. Yes life would certainly be different had I not been a stay at home mom and this could be part of the reason I feel so extremely down. Thank you so much for this post, it’s very appreciated.

    1. Yes, I think there are a lot of us moms that don’t realize what it actually is. I’m glad you enjoyed it!

  4. Stephanie McQueen says:

    Your post could not have come at a more needed time in my life. I have been battling depression since my twins were born in August 2018. I am also a mama of 3 boys, all under the age of 5. Before having kids my career was my life and after my first was born we decided I would stay home. Which I am so grateful to get to do, but I’ve lost myself in that. I don’t know who I am anymore other than a mom. And lately my depression has just been so bad I don’t even want to get out of bed. It breaks my heart cause I see how it’s affecting my oldest, he’s starting to act out more. I have a therapist I talk to but she’s the only person I really feel I can talk to because no one else really gets it. So it was so refreshing to read you post. I was like finally someone who gets it! It actually made me cry because I’ve had times where I’ve driven around because I needed to talk to someone but had no one to talk to, so I drove around until I was done melting down and could go home to my kids and hubs.

    God bless you
    Stephanie

    1. I know exactly how you feel. . . Yes, being a mom is hard at times and sometimes it’s hard to find someone that understands. . . . Having friends that are also moms have really helped me.

  5. Hi Twyla,

    Thank you so much for this post. I definitely resonated with a lot of what you wrote. I am also a mother to 3 boys (3 and younger) and currently pregnant with a 4th child and it’s so hard sometimes. As helpful as my husband is, he’s a great father, he still lacks understanding the things that I go through being a stay at home mom. Majority of the time I do not express what I truly feel because I don’t want to sound like I am complaining or ungrateful so I suffer silently. I mentioned that a small part of me sometimes resent the fact that he can do things so freely and sometimes I just feel stuck. I know there is more to me than just being a wife & mom but it’s challenging trying to figure out exactly who I am and the things I like. Anyway, I can probably talk about this for 3 more hours lol but thank you for sharing this post and helping stay at home mothers like myself. Be blessed!

  6. Goosebumps. Everything you said hit the nail on the head for me! Literally, “check, check, and check”. I am in such a rut. I binge eat, then I have so much anger towards myself for being like that and I take it out on my son. I yell at him, I don’t play with him, and I isolate. How is that fair to him? I can’t keep on living this way. I’m going to start with your advice! Thank you for righting this. For once I can breathe knowing I’m not alone.

    1. Yes, they will help! No. . . You’re DEFINITELY not alone! You’ll be so surprised how many moms are going through the EXACT same thing. XOXO

    2. Twyla Saravia says:

      Hello Molleigh, I hope you are doing well at this moment. You are most definitely not alone. Please take it slowly. Do the best you can do today. Leave tomorrow’s cares for tomorrow. Thank heavens that kids are resilient and his love for you is unconditional. No one doubts that you love him. But you need to work on yourself first. It goes against our nature as mothers to put ourselves first. But how can you take care of him if you feel like trash? Do nice things for you every day. Literally put it in your planner. You deserve it. It’s a little hard in the beginning. Your mind will fight you. But you can do this. Your mind is a liar. There is nothing wrong with putting your needs ahead of others. From this moment on, stop beating yourself up about binging. When you feel the urge to binge, replace it with something else that you enjoy. Perhaps a book, magazine, a cup of coffee or tea, or maybe even take your son for a nice walk. By the time you finish, the urge to binge will be gone! You are not alone and I am here if you need to vent! Twyla

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